The Paedophile Song

from by Ria Lina

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I thought I’d sing a love song just to tell you how I feel.
But I realised love is not the word to use.
For despite our years together though I’ve suffered pain and strife,
I’m underage so technically the word is still abuse.

You Pig! I trusted you.
I thought what we had together was just between us two.
You pig! I trusted you.
But I should’ve known the other kids got candy from you too.


from OFFENSIVE CHARM, released December 24, 2011
Music, Lyrics, Ukulele & Vocals: Ria Lina



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Ria Lina London, UK

Winner of the EMMA Award for Best Comedienne 2003, Ria Lina makes an impact with her dry wit and bawdy ukulele songs. She's been a regular in stand-up comedy for the past 11 years both in the UK and abroad. Her work includes Malai Monologues, for BBC 3; The World Stands Up, for Comedy Central, the Paramount Comedy Channel, and the Comedy Network Channel; and Sweet n’ Sour Sketch Show for BBC3. ... more

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